May Wellbeing Recommendations

May you be well this month with our tips for putting a little Spring back into your step. This Mays recommendations centre around Mental Health Awareness Week which is on the 9th to 15th of May. This year the focus is on community and connection, in light of the loneliness epidemic facing demographics of all ages. Loneliness is not the same as being alone, it centres around the need to be understood and to belong, which is part of a wider cultural and communication issue that seeks to embrace greater diversity, inclusion and equity.

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Recommended Read

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Explaining Humans by Dr Camilla Pang is a handbook for progressively exploring and understanding our inner and outer landscapes. At the age of eight, author Camilla was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD), and ADHD at 26 years old. Her career and studies have been heavily influenced by her diagnosis but she is driven by her passion for understanding humans, our behaviours and how we work.

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Armed with a PhD in biochemistry, Camilla dismantles our obscure social customs and identifies what it really means to be human using her unique expertise and a language she knows best - science. Through a set of scientific principles, this book examines life's everyday interactions including: decisions and the route we take to make them; conflict and how we can avoid it; relationships and how we establish them; etiquette and how we conform to it.

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In her words, Pang hopes to be “a voice for the neurodivergent community in shining a light on the fact that it’s OK to feel outlandish in a system that you’re basically allergic to, because you’re designed to make a new one”. What’s great about the book is its stark reminder that it’s ok to step outside of the prevailing expectations and pressures of society, and that there is not necessarily anything wrong with you for needing to do so.

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Some key points to take home while navigating this are:

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• We live in an age that is more connected than ever before. With just 6 degrees of separation between us, it has never been easier to get to know your neighbours, before you’ve even met them in person. However being alone is a state of being, whereas being lonely is a feeling. A recent study published in Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology sheds some light what makes a person feel lonely - “The perceived quality, not the quantity, of interpersonal connections was associated with poor mental health.”
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• The solution therefore lies in how well a person is able to connect on a deep emotional level with others in an intimate and vulnerable way. Things that might prevent someone from being able to do this include a history of relationship trauma, which impact both a sense of safety and the perception of relationships, as well as feelings of trust. Poor parental attachment also affects how we connect and form bonds with others, as well as enforcing repeated negative relationship patterns and a lack of healthy forms of intimacy.
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• We also live in a society that values toughness, stoicism, and fierce independence. We all are taught lessons from an early age that it is not acceptable to be “weak.” Our feelings become dangerous and shameful parts of our being. We spend time with friends and loved ones, yet everyone is wearing masks. Deeper discussion, intimate connection, and authenticity are often avoided at all costs, for fear of being uncomfortable, ‘low energy’ or awkward.
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• Feeling lonely isn't in itself a mental health problem, but the two are strongly linked. Having a mental health problem can increase your chance of feeling lonely. For example, some people may have misconceptions about what certain mental health problems mean, so it may be difficult to communicate alternate perspectives while facing stigma. Others have lived their whole lives this way and do not realise it to be a cause behind their inter-personal issues.
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• At the same time, the exact mechanisms behind how mental health conditions such as autism, anxiety, depression, PTSD and personality disorders contribute to, are exacerbated by, or are otherwise linked to social isolation remain elusive. And therapeutic interventions which leverage social connection to enhance compliance with efficacy or mental health treatment, though promising, remain scarce and inefficient.
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• We also increasingly seek out expert opinion. While this leads to a healthy ability to question everything, it can also lead to a certain amount of conflict between what feels right for you, society’s expectations and what the available data says to be “correct”. Emotional connection requires being touch with your emotions. And, being able to trust those emotions without anyone else telling you how to process those feelings and decisions.
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• Luckily, as more funding pours into the relevant research, we are able to improve our efforts to understand emotional regulation throughout the lifespan and its impact on mental health and disease. Allowing us to identify potential intervention targets for modifying social connectedness, isolation, and loneliness via social media or electronic communication, to prevent the development of clinically significant health symptoms.
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• We are a social species. The ability to connect is inherent in all of us, even if it might look very different for any given individual, as we all define community differently. We can learn to slowly let down our barriers, to trust others, to accept the parts of ourselves that we’ve grown to hate, to value ourselves and others regardless of what people might think, to dare to be “weak,” and to listen to our own body and instincts.
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Purposeful Podcasting

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Queering Desi is a podcast that celebrates the unique experiences of South Asian LGBTQ+ people. Homosexuality is still stigmatised and considered taboo in the South Asian community. Once again, this is a podcast that highlights the intersectionality of experiences which are crucial to consider when implementing any diversity and inclusivity initiatives. Each week, a guest will chat with community activist and writer, Priya Arora, about their journey. This podcast is about identity, politics, and representation, and fostering an authentic sense of pride in who you are as an individual.

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Positively-Impactful Product

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As well as fostering good relationships with other humans, connection is also established through our relationship to nature and the wider world. A love for the company of other sentient beings can be found via apps such as Borrow My Dog - a marketplace connecting dog owners with trusted local people who would love to look after their dog.

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While it can be a big commitment to adopt a pet of your own, platforms like Borrow My Dog make it easy to arrange walks, playtime, overnight stays or holidays in an innovative win-win partnership. Their aim is to help dog owners when they need it, give dogs more exercise and playtime, and to allow people without a dog to spend quality time with one.

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Virtuous Visits

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This month the Loft & Gallery at Mortimer House is hosting an event on The Power of Perspective: Taking Positive Action for a Diverse and Inclusive Workforce. A relaxed and informal event to discuss the importance and practicalities of going beyond words when it comes to equality, diversity and inclusion.

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Join FSP for an interactive and thoughtful discussion with people sharing different perspectives, across industry, public and private sector organisations. FSP are a leading digital transformation specialist that combines real world experience in business strategy, change and adoption and digital solution delivery.

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FSP’s CEO Simon Grosse will be leading the panel discussion alongside four inspiring guests from different industry backgrounds including The Civil Service Race Forum (CSRF), The Faith and Minority Ethnic (FAME) Network and Global Sports, sharing experiences, about how we are all aiming to achieve long-lasting positive change.

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Rewarding Recipes

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Try this quick and easy African "swallow" served with a healthy kale riro – an oil-free spin on the delicious west African vegetable soup. Not only is fufu tasty, it is possibly one the most famous west African ”swallow” foods. It is a filling side dish - starchy, smooth, dense, and stretchy that is much beloved because it is delicious, simple, satisfying, and easy to prepare.

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Ingredients

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Riro

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• 400g tinned chopped tomatoes
• 1 teaspoon hot pepper powder
• 170g red onion, diced
• 1 teaspoon curry powder
• 1 low-salt seasoning cube (5g)
• 70g garden egg (white aubergine), chopped
• 100g yellow bell pepper, deseeded and chopped
• 100g red bell pepper, deseeded and chopped
• 25g locust beans (also called iru, dawa-dawa or ogiri)
• 200g peeled prawns
• 150g kale, washed and chopped
• 20g dried crayfish
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Fufu

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• 250g porridge oats
• 300ml cold water
• 200ml boiling water
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Method

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1. Add the chopped tomatoes, hot pepper, onion, curry powder and crumbled seasoning cube to a medium-sized pot. Cook on medium heat, stirring continuously for 5 minutes. Stir in the garden egg, yellow and red peppers, and locust beans. Cover and cook for a further 8 to 10 minutes on medium heat.
2. Add the prawns and kale, and sprinkle in the dried crayfish. Stir well to combine all the ingredients, then cover and allow to steam on low heat for 7 minutes. For a vegetarian version, swap out the crayfish and prawns for vegetables like mushrooms and okro. If you want a more traditional taste, add bitter leaf. For a carnivorous version, simply add some strips of salted beef.
3. To make the fufu, add the porridge oats and cold water to a food blender. Allow to soak for a minute or so and then blend until smooth. If you like a more coarse texture, blend for less time.
4. Pour the mixture into a non-stick pot and cook on medium heat, stirring continuously until it starts to thicken. Once the oats become more solid and dough-like, stir more forcefully, pounding the mixture for 3 to 4 minutes, until it becomes thick and stretchy. The mixture can burn easily, so don't take your eye off it!
5. Lower the heat and use the wooden spoon to create 4 or 5 wells in the mixture. Add 150 to 200ml of boiling water, then cover the pot and allow to "cook" on low heat for 5 minutes.
6. Carry on mixing for another 3 to 4 minutes using a pounding motion until you have a soft, sticky "dough". Remove from the heat, divide into portions and serve with the kale riro.
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